The universe works in mysterious ways..

As I was sitting in this new cubical with my slacks, dress shirt, and the rare addition of heels-- it came to my realization how unique, accurate, and special the universe and its energy is.

Looking at where I was, its hard to believe where I am now. All of my downfalls, frustrations, and anger were things I had to go through to get to this amazing point in my life. The universe will always put you down and deny you opportunities that you feel are the best fit and the only option.

But...

There's a reason for it. The universe denies them because of the better plan it has in store.

Six months ago, I was being chained down by a long-term unhealthy relationship. It was all I had known and losing that was like losing a huge part of who I thought I was. Given the timing of Winter Holidays and the monumental "legal" birthday, the break up couldn't have been worse. I wasn't accustomed to the feeling of being alone again after almost 4 years and the aftermath and the findings added insult to injury. The downfalls were never ending.

But...

That relationship and break up taught me more about myself than I ever thought possible. I learned to never settle for something less than what I deserve and to not let anyone bring me down. I've never felt happier, stronger, or more proud than I do today. it has led me to meeting so many great people, growing the relationships with my family, and strengthening those friendships I had started.

Energy...

Works in the same way. We have this sense, even if we don't know it, for when someone has good energy and when they don't. Ever get a wierd feeling when meeting someone new? or a bad feeling about one of your friends new boyfriend/girlfriend? Individual energy is what attracts us to one another. However, just because you may have some great energy within and surrounding you, it still doesn't eliminate that temptation and attraction to those that have bad energy. It is human nature to cling to someone who presents this sort of energy because we want to try to change and help them or because it makes us feel more superior and stronger.

Resist the temptation and surround yourself with equal or greater strength to challenge you and help your growth as a person. As i have learned, don't let someone bring you down, Surround yourself with people who are going to continue to build you up.

There are people who are already in our lives and who have been for awhile, that possess a poisonious energy (to some degree) than what we should surround ourselves in. After time, you should learn to do a cleanse and cut those ties. It won't be easy and it doesn't have to be cut off cold turkey. it can be done slowly and gradually. You'll feel so much better once you do.

Take it from me. I'm a doctor.

R.I.P

Though it was suppose to be a morning filled with happiness and excitement for heading home for the holidays, It seemed to be short lived.

My old Junior High great friends/crush was in a car accident last night and passed away. He just turned 20 on October 30. I cannot emphasize how much he was loved and will be missed by everyone in his family and his friends. Not much of what happened is known, but the last we knew, he was "headed home for break its gonna be great" (facebook status).

Its hard to believe I first met him back in 6th grade at Liberty Common. He had to be by far the cutest guy at the school. I had a crush on him for a full year and we became really close friends. Then I moved away to Preston for 9th grade and all my friends from Liberty seemed to fade and the new friends grow. But I will never forget the way Lincoln would always make me smile, laugh, or blush... I will ALWAYS remember him.

Last year, around this time, an old team mate of mine passed away also. Only 18 years old. This time reminds me of her and her family- what a rough Thanksgiving holiday and pain they have endured. What can you be thankful for when all your heart is lost-- these parents will never fully move on.

Be thankful for your life and the people around you who love you and would do anything for you. Be thankful for your health, a good laugh, and a home cooked meal. We must be always be thankful and eternally grateful for what we have.

And I am SO incredibly grateful for the memories that both of them have had on my life and others. It is through the memories of their life that they will live on.. in all of us.

RIP Lincoln Walsh and Kelsey Altenburn

Real...

Never have I ever been into Blogging, but thanks to Erin Claussen's inspiring blogs, I thought i'd give it chance. After all, I seem to have the Farmville, Cafe World, and Happy Aquarium applications on Facebook... what's one more?

Since i've been living the student life in Colorado Springs, i'm not only finding out who I am but who the people i've been sharing my life with are. All my life I've searched for people who are real, who don't feel the need to say ridiculous things to try "too hard" to be funny, or have multiple views, personalities, and likes depending on who they are around. I had enough of it in High School, and I'm over it. My closest friends from last year have shown their true colors this year, and as hard as it is, I've become drawn away from them. I can't surround myself with people who i'll never know are "real."

But on a positive note, i've become close with some GREAT people, who even though I never spent as much time with them last year, are the same as they were to me last year. For example, if they're tired, they wont force a conversation, instead, they FEEL tired and can't converse-- happens to everyone? If they dont want to go out and "party" because they don't feel like it, they'll stay in and watch a movie even though EVERYONE is going. It doesn't phase them. Sometimes, I don't want to go hang out with tons of people. Alone time is something i've learned to cherish and love. Why do I need to be worried about going out with them everytime or else i'll lose them as friends? Its because I was hanging out with the wrong crowd. As much as i'll always love the people individually in that crowd, the wind is blowing me a different direction.

I think I like where the wind is taking me this time!

Yet, being "real" can have different definitions to different people, correct?